Job Seeking Skills: What NOT to Write In a Resume

Anyone involved in hiring knows that there are some candidates who just don’t seem to get it.  There are the applicants who “fluff” their resumes to the point of fantasy.  There are the candidates who ask totally inappropriate questions, or give positively unimaginable answers, during an interview.  And there are the ones who submit resumes that are so outlandish that you have to bite your hand to refrain from sending a copy to every person in the office. 

But now, thanks to Robert Half International’s website,, you don’t have to share the candidate’s resume with the office.  Everyone can get a laugh that’s not on the expense of the potential co-worker.

On the site, the global recruiting agency shares some of the best worst lines from resumes, accompanied by a little cartoon businessman who provides witty commentary.  Here are just a few from the site:

FavouritesResume Section:  SKILLS

Applicant’s Statement:  Committed to meeting deadline

Commentary:  Just one?

FavouritesResume Section:  HOBBIES

Applicant’s Statement:  Sit on my computer for hours

Commentary:  That must be uncomfortable


FavouritesResume Section: SKILLS

Applicant’s Statement: Eager to learn innate abilities

Commentary:  That might be difficult


FavouritesResume Section:  COVER LETTER

Applicant’s Statement: I would appreciate the opportunity to review my qualifications

Commentary:  Go right ahead


FavouritesResume Section:  OBJECTIVE

Applicant’s Statement: To obtain a position that will allow me to utilize my strengths and reinforce my weaknesses

Commentary:  Are you sure that’s a good idea?